good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
