I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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