**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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