sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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