I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
