My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS