Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.