Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...