Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.

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  (902): Her vagina smelled like hockey gear. http://tfl.nu/kiqt
  Replies (39) Good night (637) Bad night (6968)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.

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  (770): i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles. http://tfl.nu/d3lp
  Replies (7) Good night (2878) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel

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  (215): she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel http://tfl.nu/yxdc
  Replies (16) Good night (551) Bad night (4024)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber

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  (216): We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber http://tfl.nu/uas6
  Replies (16) Good night (3878) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.

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  (814): No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/k4yz
  Replies (4) Good night (4600) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.

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  (702): sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick. http://tfl.nu/022f
  Replies (14) Good night (917) Bad night (4416)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'

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  (306): I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes' http://tfl.nu/oxkp
  Replies (9) Good night (7772) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive

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  (574): Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive http://tfl.nu/wu3i
  Replies (8) Good night (925) Bad night (2983)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring

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  (269): They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring http://tfl.nu/up4a
  Replies (4) Good night (1636) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits

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  (410): I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits http://tfl.nu/1cr3
  Replies (5) Good night (789) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.

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  (505): Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit. http://tfl.nu/tchi
  Replies (3) Good night (1260) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help

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  (609): TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help http://tfl.nu/xrr6
  Replies (5) Good night (793) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place

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  (+44): Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place http://tfl.nu/6f1z
  Replies (3) Good night (868) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.

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  (519): My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit. http://tfl.nu/1j6h
  Replies (0) Good night (161) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.

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  (979): Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo. http://tfl.nu/7yqz
  Replies (1) Good night (469) Bad night (238)

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