Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class

(914): View more from New York

isnt today saturday?

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(269): View more from Michigan

Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(773): View more from Illinois

arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better

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(516): View more from New York

I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life

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(858): View more from California

We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.

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(315): View more from New York

I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.

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