At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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