Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My cat gives me a boner
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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