haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
