I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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