As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
