YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
