never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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