you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
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his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
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I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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