there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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