You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just invented taco cereal.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
