Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(907): View more from Alaska

Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?

(773): View more from Illinois

Responsible fail?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(907): Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior? (773): Responsible fail? http://tfl.nu/nxhx

Replies (19) Good night (1304) Bad night (5288)
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while

(202): View more from Washington, DC

woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while (202): woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face http://tfl.nu/fujm

Replies (11) Good night (796) Bad night (3284)
Favorite
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(306): I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom. http://tfl.nu/90oj

Replies (32) Good night (1226) Bad night (4762) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face http://tfl.nu/40gf

Replies (23) Good night (950) Bad night (4383) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(479): View more from Arkansas

So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.

(307): View more from Wyoming

Haha. Niice.

(479): View more from Arkansas

Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.

(307): View more from Wyoming

both.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(479): So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack. (307): Haha. Niice. (479): Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered. (307): both. http://tfl.nu/wvm3

Replies (46) Good night (5860) Bad night (730)
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk. http://tfl.nu/ed4r

Replies (12) Good night (4442) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk." http://tfl.nu/3tv5

Replies (16) Good night (2043) Bad night (957) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(859): View more from Kentucky

i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(859): i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night http://tfl.nu/g2hp

Replies (16) Good night (998) Bad night (3538) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(620): View more from Kansas

He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(620): He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening. http://tfl.nu/b9i7

Replies (16) Good night (3908) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after? http://tfl.nu/ibkm

Replies (16) Good night (3438) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(480): View more from Arizona

I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(480): I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before http://tfl.nu/7hf6

Replies (12) Good night (742) Bad night (1474) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(209): View more from California

Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(209): Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die. http://tfl.nu/72xy

Replies (9) Good night (436) Bad night (1096) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(647): View more from Ontario

I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(647): I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money http://tfl.nu/kbmq

Replies (10) Good night (616) Bad night (1365)
Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves. http://tfl.nu/jaio

Replies (1) Good night (451) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm officially in the Christmas spirit

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER (1-610): I'm officially in the Christmas spirit http://tfl.nu/grxs

Replies (5) Good night (824) Bad night (237) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: