Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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