Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
