Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
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My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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