I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
