Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize