dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
