if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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