Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize