You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
