I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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