I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
