i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
