i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
