I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
