Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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