I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize