Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
