I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
