how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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