I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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