I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
