even my farts smell like vagina
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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