is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
