fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize