he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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