She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
