During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
