This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
