You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
