He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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