You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
