How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
