Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
