Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
