If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
