I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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