i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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