would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
