a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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