I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
