party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
