umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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