he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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