i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
